It’s coming.  The big event that can make men turn tail, run to the local sports car dealership and cry ‘Mommy’.  I’m turning 40.  Now I can’t say that I’ve had any inclination to do any of those things, but a neighbor was selling his motorcycle and it did sound tempting.  As the big date approaches, I’ve started to feel a little more and more uneasy about the date.  I think the biggest hurdle I’ve been dealing with is reconciling the expectations of where I thought I’d be in life when I turned 40 against where I really am. 

Not what I thought…

• Office door: Call it the culmination of demonstrating where I got with my professional career.  I didn’t need a corner office suite, just something where I could say this is mine.
• Music: I really thought I was going to keep my music tastes more current, even as I grew older.  This has been one of the harsher realities that prove I’m getting older.
• Hair: I had it, I lost it, and sometimes I wish I could get it back.
• Weight: Let’s face it, I was a skinny runt for a good portion of my life. And I didn’t think at 40 I would be struggling to shed some extra pounds. Of the any disappointments I have at 40, this is one I’m struggling with most of all.  Mostly because it’s the one I have the most control over. 

More than I could expect…

• Wife: Holly is what I would expect everyone hopes they find in a spouse.  Someone who understands your quirks, enjoys your company on your good days and bad, can make you smile on your worst days and has the same values and beliefs (regardless what their voter registration card says).  I love you sweetie!
• Boys: Sam and Evan… I can’t add much more than that.  Those two can turn my day upside down and I’ll still go to bed thinking how much I love them.  I’m in awe every time I take a step back and look at them.
• Learning: I’m glad to see that even with the hustle and bustle of home and work, I still want to read and learn.  I’m hoping this is a trait I can pass down to Sam and Evan too.
• Career: I have to take the fact that I don’t have a door with a grain of salt though. I have a good job that pays me well. I work for a company that continues to grow and is doing well.  And when I look back at what I’ve done so far, the office with a door will come someday.
• Happy to play: As I look at most friends and co-workers, this is a trait that seems to be slipping away as they get older.  I still get as excited to go mountain biking as I did when I was 25.  I still know I could spend way too much time playing a video game.  I can still say, “I’ll be up in a minute” when playing Legos (with the kids of course).

So turning 40… yeah it’s a little weird, but it’s not so bad.